At any time of life, there will be a stage in our relationship that we need to meet our partner’s parents. It seems to be a punch-line style situation. Everyone is expecting something terrible or mortifying to happen. There are whole songs and films dedicated to the ways in which we might embarrass ourselves or slip up. With all this in mind, it’s little wonder if we feel stressed or intimidated! But the experience can be fun. This can be opportunity to really strengthen the bond between you and your partner and make some fun memories in the process! Your partner’s parents are only human and want the best for their loved one – just like you. Focus on that as a common feature and you won’t go far wrong. Smile, be confident, and don’t stress.
Get Groomed
No-one is expecting you to show up in a tuxedo and bow tie. Please don’t. But a little subtle grooming can really make the difference between a positive first impression and a bit of a downer. Jeans and a relaxed shirt or sweater are fine, but make sure they’re clean and fit well. Don’t stray too far from your personal style, but be aware of looking slovenly or untidy. If you take care of yourself, you give the impression of being able to take care of someone else. A close shave and quick trim with a good quality clipper are both good ideas. You needn’t break the bank by going to a professional if you rely on a good brand at home. Do a bit of research for what might suit you.
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
It’s worth remembering that meeting a loved one’s partner can be daunting for the parents too. They may have seen their loved one hurt before, or worry that their partner doesn’t appreciate and value them. Try to see things through the parents’ eyes. It’s not necessary to verbally reassure them that you’re a good, respectful partner but let it shine in your actions. Be respectful and attentive towards your partner. Listen to them, never put them down, and don’t be too touchy-feely. A quick peck or hand holding is usually acceptable but try to take your cue from how her parents act. You might be madly in love with your partner but resist the urge to grab them or passionately kiss them in front of their parents. It’s just awkward and doesn’t seem respectful. If you feel the parents are not warming to you or seem defensive, try not to panic. Stay calm and friendly. Appreciate that they are protective and care about their loved one. If you were in their position, you’d probably do the same! Try to put them at ease by staying warm and sincere. Anyone who values and protects your partner is an ally, not an enemy.
Keeping The Conversation Going
Having a few topics ready doesn’t have to be as rehearsed as it sounds. There is no need to plan specific questions or thoughts, but ask your partner a little about the parents ahead of time. Does dad support a specific team, for example, or love to talk about business? Does mum have a charity she contributes to or a favourite musician? The old, “I’ve heard that you like…” conversation starter is tried and tested. It makes your partner’s parents feel valued and involved, and keeps the conversation friendly. You may find you actually have a lot in common!